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Scenario
We often find ourselves in a situation where our child does something we dislike—such as stomping in muddy puddles or trying to touch electrical outlets. These behaviors may not seem appropriate, and we’re unsure whether to allow them or put our foot down.
An Interesting Way to Judge
Imagine your child starts whining or crying. Would you eventually “give in”?
- If you already know you’ll give in eventually, you might as well just say “yes” from the start. Why? Because if crying works, it subtly reinforces that crying is the way to get what they want, rather than learning to face real external constraints.
- If no amount of crying would change your mind, that is precisely the essence of a “principle.”
I call this simple but effective method the “Crying Test.” It helps you decide whether or not to compromise on a particular issue.
Why
- We want to maintain consistent principles—being consistent in both words and actions—without sudden changes.
- Within those principles, we want to meet our child’s needs as fully as possible.
- It’s really that straightforward.
Some Fun Examples
You can try asking yourself the following questions for practice:
- Is it okay to play in the mud?
- Is it okay to take another child’s toy?
- Is it okay to touch an electrical outlet?
- Author:Zhenye Dong
- URL:https://dongzhenye.com/article/the-crying-test-a-guide-for-setting-rules
- Copyright:All articles in this blog, except for special statements, adopt BY-NC-SA agreement. Please indicate the source!
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