type
status
date
slug
summary
category
tags
icon
password

Scenario

We often find ourselves in a situation where our child does something we dislike—such as stomping in muddy puddles or trying to touch electrical outlets. These behaviors may not seem appropriate, and we’re unsure whether to allow them or put our foot down.

An Interesting Way to Judge

Imagine your child starts whining or crying. Would you eventually “give in”?
  • If you already know you’ll give in eventually, you might as well just say “yes” from the start. Why? Because if crying works, it subtly reinforces that crying is the way to get what they want, rather than learning to face real external constraints.
  • If no amount of crying would change your mind, that is precisely the essence of a “principle.”
I call this simple but effective method the “Crying Test.” It helps you decide whether or not to compromise on a particular issue.

Why

  • We want to maintain consistent principles—being consistent in both words and actions—without sudden changes.
  • Within those principles, we want to meet our child’s needs as fully as possible.
  • It’s really that straightforward.

Some Fun Examples

You can try asking yourself the following questions for practice:
  • Is it okay to play in the mud?
  • Is it okay to take another child’s toy?
  • Is it okay to touch an electrical outlet?
Cross-Platform Line Ending Issues When Syncing Git Repositories with OneDriveParenting Note: Why laughter Can’t neutralize Tears?
Loading...
Zhenye Dong
Zhenye Dong
Product Manager | New Dad | New Blogger
Latest posts
Fixing Terminal Exit Code 1 in Cursor IDE on Windows
2025-3-19
Cross-Platform Line Ending Issues When Syncing Git Repositories with OneDrive
2025-3-10
The Crying Test: A Guide for Setting Rules
2025-2-6
Parenting Note: Learning to Say Goodbye
2025-2-6
Parenting Note: Why laughter Can’t neutralize Tears?
2025-2-6
How to display [[roam/js]] results inline in Roam Research?
2025-1-5